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I Can’t Go Any Further
Title: I Can’t Go Any Further
Fandom: Original Fiction - Lizards ‘verse
Series: Kat’s Therapy Journal - 18th Tensway, 5437
Prompt: Panic attacks
Character: Katrin Micah
Medium: FIC
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 574
Summary: Ontferia Historical Record: 18th Tensway, 5435. Civilians relocated to temporary quarters on Xenbarin during threat to Ontferia by L’spi fleet. The military base was relocated to cave system under the base.
Content Notes: No standard notes apply
18th Tensway, 5437
Subject: Fear
There were only two times that my phobia affected me while on duty. The first time, I managed to get through by virtue of passing out and needing to be dragged out of a pipe by my teammates, who thought I’d inhaled too many noxious fumes. The second time was much more recently, and I didn’t get off so lucky. I got found out.
When the L’spi were coming, and we evacuated the civilians and moved the base underground, I waited until the last possible moment to go under. I had shamelessly been using Conah as an excuse to stay “out in the fresh air” for as long as I could, but I knew I had to go down into the caves. The air was about to go temporarily toxic and I couldn’t stay above.
I tried. I did. Following Cali, I got down the ladder and part of the way into the tunnel, with Conah in a sling cradled against my chest. Bailey had gone ahead with Brianna. I noticed the closed in tunnel walls and there was nothing in front of me but more stone and dim emergency light and I couldn’t go another step. It got harder to breath.
Cali tried urging me to hurry, pulling on my arm to get me past the airlock we had set up. I couldn’t go. My knees locked in place and I was frozen where I was. She didn’t understand, how could she? She didn’t know about my problem with dark, closed in places. I couldn’t breathe, I started to hyperventilate. She recognized that well enough. She ran off down the tunnel to get help.
I remember leaning back against the wall, the rock was pressing into my back, digging into my palms. Conah was sensing my emotional state and he began to fuss and was soon screeching miserably. I couldn’t even sooth him properly. all I could do was wrap my arms around him as I slid down to the dirt.
Thankfully, when Cali went for help, she got her brother and Tracy. She must have told Ric I wasn’t breathing, because he brought an air tank and a medical bag and had a mask over my face the instant he saw me. She and Ric got the sling undone and Cali took Conah away and tried to get him calmed. Ric was trying to find something physically wrong with me, a reason I wasn’t breathing properly.
I heard Tracy whispering, I was upset, I wasn’t deaf. He told Ric that it was the caves, that I was having a breakdown because of the closed in tunnels. There wasn’t time for them to try talking me down. After shaking his head, Ric pulled a syringe out of his bag and jabbed me in the arm with it. Then Tracy hauled me to my feet and across his shoulders and I blacked out as he carried me to the temporary infirmary.
I suppose that Tracy told Ric enough about my problem that he kept me sedated for the duration. By the time I regained my senses, we were back above and I was in a bed in the infirmary, which I was surprised to see had remained standing. I was actually surprised that anything had remained standing, I thought the L’spi would bomb it.
So, Ric and Cali were now in on the secret of my big fear. And the world had not ended.
Fandom: Original Fiction - Lizards ‘verse
Series: Kat’s Therapy Journal - 18th Tensway, 5437
Prompt: Panic attacks
Character: Katrin Micah
Medium: FIC
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 574
Summary: Ontferia Historical Record: 18th Tensway, 5435. Civilians relocated to temporary quarters on Xenbarin during threat to Ontferia by L’spi fleet. The military base was relocated to cave system under the base.
Content Notes: No standard notes apply
18th Tensway, 5437
Subject: Fear
There were only two times that my phobia affected me while on duty. The first time, I managed to get through by virtue of passing out and needing to be dragged out of a pipe by my teammates, who thought I’d inhaled too many noxious fumes. The second time was much more recently, and I didn’t get off so lucky. I got found out.
When the L’spi were coming, and we evacuated the civilians and moved the base underground, I waited until the last possible moment to go under. I had shamelessly been using Conah as an excuse to stay “out in the fresh air” for as long as I could, but I knew I had to go down into the caves. The air was about to go temporarily toxic and I couldn’t stay above.
I tried. I did. Following Cali, I got down the ladder and part of the way into the tunnel, with Conah in a sling cradled against my chest. Bailey had gone ahead with Brianna. I noticed the closed in tunnel walls and there was nothing in front of me but more stone and dim emergency light and I couldn’t go another step. It got harder to breath.
Cali tried urging me to hurry, pulling on my arm to get me past the airlock we had set up. I couldn’t go. My knees locked in place and I was frozen where I was. She didn’t understand, how could she? She didn’t know about my problem with dark, closed in places. I couldn’t breathe, I started to hyperventilate. She recognized that well enough. She ran off down the tunnel to get help.
I remember leaning back against the wall, the rock was pressing into my back, digging into my palms. Conah was sensing my emotional state and he began to fuss and was soon screeching miserably. I couldn’t even sooth him properly. all I could do was wrap my arms around him as I slid down to the dirt.
Thankfully, when Cali went for help, she got her brother and Tracy. She must have told Ric I wasn’t breathing, because he brought an air tank and a medical bag and had a mask over my face the instant he saw me. She and Ric got the sling undone and Cali took Conah away and tried to get him calmed. Ric was trying to find something physically wrong with me, a reason I wasn’t breathing properly.
I heard Tracy whispering, I was upset, I wasn’t deaf. He told Ric that it was the caves, that I was having a breakdown because of the closed in tunnels. There wasn’t time for them to try talking me down. After shaking his head, Ric pulled a syringe out of his bag and jabbed me in the arm with it. Then Tracy hauled me to my feet and across his shoulders and I blacked out as he carried me to the temporary infirmary.
I suppose that Tracy told Ric enough about my problem that he kept me sedated for the duration. By the time I regained my senses, we were back above and I was in a bed in the infirmary, which I was surprised to see had remained standing. I was actually surprised that anything had remained standing, I thought the L’spi would bomb it.
So, Ric and Cali were now in on the secret of my big fear. And the world had not ended.