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rinkhcTitle: Fear
Fandom: Original Fiction - Lizards ‘verse
Series: Kat’s Therapy Journal - 20th Salmas, 5434
Prompt: Phobias
Medium: FIC
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 670
Summary: Historical Record: 1st Penna, 5387. Massacre of Sharshun. The Gaillen Colony of Sharshun was overrun by hostiles called the Slensta, distant relatives of the L’spi. Notable among the dead are Sera Micah mother of Katrin Micah Cam’ree and Serenia and Geramie, her sister and brother respectively. Katrin Micah was one of only twenty two survivors of the massacre, in which eight hundred and fifty eight Gallians were lost.
Content Notes: No standard notes apply
20th Salmas, 5434
Subject: Fear
You do know that if this journal falls into the wrong hands, I might have to hurt you for making me write it, Doctor Ellie!
Most of the things that we feared as children were discovered early on in our training at the Academy and we were forced to work through them. I don’t fear heights after being pushed off towers, thrown off high buildings and shoved out of aircraft on numerous occasions. I’ve come face to face with giant talking lizardmen, so little, tiny, brainless snakes and bugs are nothing in my book. As a rule, if I can step on it, shoot it, or blow it up, I’m not terribly frightened of it.
You already found out about my big secret, because Tracy Prinz talks too much. I cannot abide the dark. Losing my vision is one of my biggest fears because it would mean an eternity in the dark. Tracy found out about my problem with dark places quite by accident. If the electrical systems on the ship had not gone out and stranded me in the cargo hold, I would have continued on with no one the wiser about my secret fear.
Thank the heavens it was Tracy and not someone else piloting. He managed to find me in the dark and held me and calmed me down when I was going over the edge, out of my mind with terror. I told him about my mother and the Slensta as he held me and rocked me and soothed me as if I were a child, but I guess that’s what I needed. He kept me sane that day. I don’t know if anyone else would have realized that something was wrong, or known how to bring me back from the brink.
I know why I have this problem, it isn’t a big mystery to me. I’ve tried talking myself out of it, to no avail. It goes back to the day my mother died.
I was alone for hours, hiding in the cupboard under the stairs, in the dark. I could hear the Slensta moving around outside, it was that silent when the screaming stopped. It was too dangerous to have a light. I had to be perfectly still and quiet and not let them know I was there. I couldn’t cry, if I cried, they would hear me. I was five, but I understood when my mother told me to be quiet and still and wait for help to come. I wasn’t to come out unless I heard voices.
There wasn’t even light seeping through cracks, the stars above me were carpeted. I huddled in the dark and bit my lip to keep from crying out. The blanket Mama had wrapped around me smelled like the lamp oil she had poured on it, so the Slensta wouldn’t smell me. Funny, isn’t it, that I still associate the smell of lamp fuel with that day and I can’t abide it, when it takes fuel to make light?
My Da came after a very long time. I heard him calling for me, but I was still too frightened to move. Afraid the Slensta were still out there. He eventually figured out that there was a trunk out of place and that the cupboard door was covered. Da moved it and opened the door and pulled me out. He squeezed me tightly and he cried. I remember that he cried a lot, so much that he hiccupped. He wouldn’t let anyone take me from him. He held me and carried me like I was a little baby, all the way to the spaceport.
To answer your question from our session, no, I don’t sleep very well as a rule. I don’t do well with the dark. I guess I’ll never be convinced that it isn’t something to fear, because I learned that there are things out there in the dark waiting. There is danger in the dark. Monsters are real.
Fandom: Original Fiction - Lizards ‘verse
Series: Kat’s Therapy Journal - 20th Salmas, 5434
Prompt: Phobias
Medium: FIC
Rating: Gen
Word Count: 670
Summary: Historical Record: 1st Penna, 5387. Massacre of Sharshun. The Gaillen Colony of Sharshun was overrun by hostiles called the Slensta, distant relatives of the L’spi. Notable among the dead are Sera Micah mother of Katrin Micah Cam’ree and Serenia and Geramie, her sister and brother respectively. Katrin Micah was one of only twenty two survivors of the massacre, in which eight hundred and fifty eight Gallians were lost.
Content Notes: No standard notes apply
20th Salmas, 5434
Subject: Fear
You do know that if this journal falls into the wrong hands, I might have to hurt you for making me write it, Doctor Ellie!
Most of the things that we feared as children were discovered early on in our training at the Academy and we were forced to work through them. I don’t fear heights after being pushed off towers, thrown off high buildings and shoved out of aircraft on numerous occasions. I’ve come face to face with giant talking lizardmen, so little, tiny, brainless snakes and bugs are nothing in my book. As a rule, if I can step on it, shoot it, or blow it up, I’m not terribly frightened of it.
You already found out about my big secret, because Tracy Prinz talks too much. I cannot abide the dark. Losing my vision is one of my biggest fears because it would mean an eternity in the dark. Tracy found out about my problem with dark places quite by accident. If the electrical systems on the ship had not gone out and stranded me in the cargo hold, I would have continued on with no one the wiser about my secret fear.
Thank the heavens it was Tracy and not someone else piloting. He managed to find me in the dark and held me and calmed me down when I was going over the edge, out of my mind with terror. I told him about my mother and the Slensta as he held me and rocked me and soothed me as if I were a child, but I guess that’s what I needed. He kept me sane that day. I don’t know if anyone else would have realized that something was wrong, or known how to bring me back from the brink.
I know why I have this problem, it isn’t a big mystery to me. I’ve tried talking myself out of it, to no avail. It goes back to the day my mother died.
I was alone for hours, hiding in the cupboard under the stairs, in the dark. I could hear the Slensta moving around outside, it was that silent when the screaming stopped. It was too dangerous to have a light. I had to be perfectly still and quiet and not let them know I was there. I couldn’t cry, if I cried, they would hear me. I was five, but I understood when my mother told me to be quiet and still and wait for help to come. I wasn’t to come out unless I heard voices.
There wasn’t even light seeping through cracks, the stars above me were carpeted. I huddled in the dark and bit my lip to keep from crying out. The blanket Mama had wrapped around me smelled like the lamp oil she had poured on it, so the Slensta wouldn’t smell me. Funny, isn’t it, that I still associate the smell of lamp fuel with that day and I can’t abide it, when it takes fuel to make light?
My Da came after a very long time. I heard him calling for me, but I was still too frightened to move. Afraid the Slensta were still out there. He eventually figured out that there was a trunk out of place and that the cupboard door was covered. Da moved it and opened the door and pulled me out. He squeezed me tightly and he cried. I remember that he cried a lot, so much that he hiccupped. He wouldn’t let anyone take me from him. He held me and carried me like I was a little baby, all the way to the spaceport.
To answer your question from our session, no, I don’t sleep very well as a rule. I don’t do well with the dark. I guess I’ll never be convinced that it isn’t something to fear, because I learned that there are things out there in the dark waiting. There is danger in the dark. Monsters are real.